Tag Archives: Marriage

Those three most Important Words…

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I wrote this as a gift for my best friend when she was getting married a number of years ago.  I wanted to give her some ‘wisdom’ gleaned from my many years of marriage.  So I thought long and hard about what to tell her, and eventually just gave her the advice my father gave me when I was getting married.  Three important words, he told me are not what I assumed would be ‘I love you’, that he said is taken as a given, it’s the other three important words I need to keep as part of my repetoire for what he called ‘effective communication’…  I have to laugh every time I use these words because they are quite apt, as is most of his advice.

So I passed on his advice through my filter and in the guise of a poem…  Read on and enjoy (I hope…)

Those three most important words….

The three most important words you need to hear
Is not ‘I love you’, but ‘I’m sorry dear’
Yes, love is important in the early stage,
But love grows less important as you age,
That shivery lovey dovey feeling goes
But marriages last when the man knows
The three most important words you need to hear
Are not ‘I love you’, but ‘I’m sorry dear!’

The honeymoon stage, as yes, ain’t, that grand
When together, united and strong you both stand
But the winding road of life has many a bend
And all too soon, the ‘honeymoon’ phase will end
What comes after is for you to know
Because you only reap from what you sow
And while love is desperately important – in the end
What’s more important is he’s your best friend
And as best friends sometimes – you will fight
But there’s something guaranteed to make it right
Yes, you’ve guessed it – you need to hear,
Those three little words – ‘I’m sorry dear.’

When one becomes two and ‘I’ becomes ‘we,’
It’s strange how stupid and stubborn we can be
Life is hard, and basically a grind.
The secret is simple; take one step at a time
But in the end, you will find:
You’ll fight over him leaving the toilet seat up
You’ll fight over who left the tea in their cup
You’ll fight over him leaving his clothes on the floor
You’ll fight over him not locking up the back door
You’ll fight over him not looking after the bins,
You’ll fight and you’ll fight but no-body wins
And you’ll fight some more because he’s too logical
And he’ll say you’re just too bloody emotional
But makes the difference is when you hear
Not ‘you’re a silly cow’, but ‘I’m sorry dear’.

My advice to you now is explain this to your man
Put it in writing if you can
Tell him to read it and keep it close to his heart
Because there’s one way to stop fights before they start
Yes, he’ll then know what you need to hear
Those most important words: I’m sorry dear.
And let me tell you because this is not the end
And because you are my best friend
I’ll tell you what sometimes he needs to hear
It’s for you to say sometimes ‘I’m sorry dear.’
The trick is in knowing whose turn it is…
But if you both get it right you’ll have wedded bliss….

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